Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
