Please, let me fuck your mom
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why are your pants in the freezer?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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