chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
