Will you blow on my dice?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
