he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize