If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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