therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize