I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
