She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
