I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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