So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
