I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
