Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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