pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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