My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
