glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
