She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Boobs are out for the taking
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Come share oat with me in your robe
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
