You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
