you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
