I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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