Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
