Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
