If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
