So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
