Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
