She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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