hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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