Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize