her vagine was all disorganized.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize