is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
