i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
