yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
