A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
