I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
