I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
look no pants
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
