this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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