i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Green mimosas i think yes
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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