How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
