Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
