the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
