just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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