Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
