I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize