what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
