This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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