are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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