Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
