So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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