Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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