another moral hangover. fuck.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
