can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize