I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize