I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
