Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
