So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize