I CAN MOONWALK!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
