Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
