the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
