So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
