Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
