singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
