so let's talk penis.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
